College Life-It’s Started!

 

Here are just some of the things I have been up to in the last one and a half months!Hope it brings back memories of your college days!
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1.Physics test the day after.Everywhere you look you see tense faces.The first real test in college afterall!There are four of us in my room.Watching season 1 episodes of The Big Bang Theory.

6:30p.m.-Friend 1:”Chal yaar,come, let’s sit down with the books”

                   Rest of us:”After this episode,wait.”

8:30p.m.-Friend 2-“Oye,it’s 8:30 already,let’s study.”

                   Rest of us:”Let’s go down for dinner after this episode and then start,”

1:00a.m.-All of us(in varying tones and degrees):”Oh damn,it’s one already!When do we study?”

                   All of us:”After this episode”!

We  finally sat down in our tables at around 2.The test,you ask?Well,I managed to answer 16 marks out of 20,12 of them by my own merit!

 

2. 14th august.the day before India’s Independence Day.

 11:50p.m.-All the boarders come and start standing in the corridors.By ‘all’ I mean a few thousand.

     15th August.Independence Day

 00:00a.m.-Residents around the campus find their windows shaking and dogs barking as a collective roar goes up from the 1st year hostel.Wardens start running around and unruly patriots(!) are somewhat          brought under control 15minutes later even though odd cries of “INDIA,INDIA” persist throughout the night!

 

3.A Friday!

10:30 a.m.Break between classes.

Friend 1:”We must cut down on our expenses you know..We should stop going for films every friday.”

Rest of us:”You are right,let’s skip films for the next few weeks.”

12 noon.We are all watching the first day second show of Barfi! !

(And what a film it was too!)

 

4.Class in progress.

Someone cracks a joke that can’t wait.We go on laughing till the teacher spots us,or, specifically me!

Teacher:”You!Come to the board and explain what is Effective Atomic No.”

I look around,shuffle around and then,as if in great pain,say,”Ma’am,but I don’t know about E.A.N.”

Teacher:”And that’s precisely why I want you to come to the board!”

Duh,it will be written in the pages of history that I made a fool of myself.

Sigh.

 

5.After staying up late I wake up 10 minutes before classes start at 8.I am there in the classroom,by the time the teacher enters.I don’t open my mouth for the next 3hours.Not because I am deeply engrossed in what’s being taught,but because in the rush,I had forgotten about brushing my teeth!

 

6.India vs England match at the t20 world cup.I will let this photo do the talking!

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And this is after we won the match!

 

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Well,it doesn’t look like the fun’s going to stop anytime soon!

NOTE:Before I end I would like to share the link of my friend Manish’s blog who has recently joined us at WP.If straight,to the point talking and some beautiful poetry is your deal,then here’s where you go!
http://www.manishthinks.wordpress.com

Life & Times of a FOOL

A very usual trick of duping is carried out in petrol pumps across Calcutta,especially in the northern fringes of the city.
Let’s say you go to a petrol station and put fuel for Rs 100.
(bad example.With petrol prices being what they are,who would do a 100.Anyway,let’s SUPPOSE!)
You give the guy Rs 500 and you see him counting four 100 rupee notes to give back to you. He counts four 100s. He makes sure you see him count four 100s.He gives you the money.You think you’ve got Rs 400 back.In reality,he has given you only three 100s. The other one by some sleight of hand is still with him. He relies on the trust he has established with you by counting so clearly in front of you to make you not double check the note count.If you trust him and put the money in your pocket without counting and leave – the guy pockets Rs 100. If you don’t trust him and he sees you counting the money again and you reach the third hundred and give the confused look, he will be waiting hand outstretched with the fourth Rs 100. He pretends that he is giving you the last 100 separately. Like it was unintentional and matter-of-fact absent mindedness.

That leads us to an interesting incident(yes,rejoice ho!I am back with another funny post after a long time on the blog!), which can only happen to fools such as your’s truly! There is a petrol pump in the intersection of Jessore Road and V.I.P. Road,near the NSCBI airport.
My cousin and I were driving two separate scooters and we both put petrol for Rs 300 each from adjacent re-fillers. So,even someone as weak in maths as I am figures out that the total cost is Rs600. I hand out two notes of 500 and see the guy counting four 100 rupee notes. He hands over the money to me. I start counting it. There are only three 100s. I smile as I see him stretching out his hand a giving me another 100.
Expected.Now we come to the unexpected!

After we reach home I gloat about this to my cousin. Tell him how easily observable this ruse is. He looks at me quizzically and asks me, “why did you give two notes of 500, I thought you only put petrol for Rs 300”. And then I tell him,
“That’s because I paid for you as well”.
He then looks at me angrily “You idiot!Don’t tell me that.I paid 300 as well..”

SIGH.

Come Again?!

A word is a word is a word…
but what if the word isn’t a word?
Stumbled upon this great article today which takes a long hard look at words which should have existed, but don’t. Here are a few gems reproduced for your eyes only!

anecdultery : the moment you are halfway through telling someone a story -acting in the know and exaggerating like crazy-when you realize it was their story in the first place

buckstop : the space left between the person using an ATM and the person in the queue behind

hope couture : the item of clothing you keep for years in the vain hope that you might fit back into it someday

knack-knicker : someone who can’t leave a hotel room without taking every tea bag, sugar sachet, complimentary shampoo etc.

edgehog : a person who hogs the aisle seat so you have to climb over them to get to a vacant stop.

eyesberg : the icy look a teenager gives to his mother when he wants her to stop talking to her girlfriend.

flaparazzi : someone who is always in the back-ground of a live news report, waving stupidly at the camera.

tearerist : a person in the cinema who seems to take ages to unwrap their lollies or open their chips, then eats them one by one, oblivious to the noise.

lovestuck : the moment on a first date when both people want to make a move but are scared of getting a knock back, and as a result nothing happens.

cosmetic perjury : the tactful response required when you meet an acquaintance who has changed his/her hair, face or body in a failed attempt to improve appearance

piece de resistance : the last bit of food left on a plate because everyone wants to be polite!

moanatone : the faltering voice you use when you ring work to tell them you’re sick.

tortune : A catchy yet awful song that you just can’t get outta your head, even after hearing it played just once.

suffermore : A person who is always sicker than or worse off than you. if you say , you are a bit tired , they are exhausted.

shinterjection : At a party or dinner , the sharp kick under the table you give to your partner to indicate that whatever it is they are saying, they must stop saying it right now.

No matter how fabulous your vocabulary is, guess there will always be something out there to surprise you…

My Wishlist!

Just some things I wanted to achieve before I started college…None achieved with less then a month to go!There’s still time to get a few done though!

[x] Done something inexplicably stupid

[x] Had a “I was so close to Death” story

[x] Had a ‘when I was your age’ conversation with somebody two years younger to me

[x] Been obsessed with random pop culture

[x] Fallen in Love

[x] Burnt somebody’s hair

[x] Etch out a day-to-day existence on acerbic wit, satirical humour and higher intellect.

[x] Done/Watched something nerdy (Star Trek, Halo 3)

[x] Played on an Xbox 360 and PSP

[x] Done something so girly that testosterone ran away screaming from my body

[x] Being awarded the Nobel.

Sigh, I feel like such a failure. But, if they can give Nobel to Obama then I wonder

P.S.-“love” did happen.Too many times.Precisely the problem!

#Lesson for today: There is always that one thing in life you can’t achieve in time. Acceptance comes gradually

Lo Behold!

Continuing with the theme of that horrible subject we call MATHS,today I am going to share a photo which shows how we can fight back!
Now,over the years I have had the fortune of coming in contact with some stalwarts in the field of maths,as we like to call them,or with some pain-in-the-arses as the teachers I am sure would’ve liked to call them,if they could use such language!
But this fellow was an absolute genius-still is!Look at the photo and notice how what he has done is so correct,yet so wrong!Our teacher,not to be left behind,gave an example of his wit too while giving the marks!

P.S.-Some of the people who know me might insinuate me with this stroke of genius,but truth shall prevail,and their comments will be blocked!