What Is India?

Was in the main market zone of Bhubaneswar a few days ago.It goes by the name of Unit III.While waiting for some Papri Chaat ,saw these two ladies.Foreigners.They came up to the Papri Chaat stall and started taking photos.Of what?No,not the Papri Chaat being made,nor of the man making it,but the photo of the fact that he was making it all very near to an open drain.
“Oh dear lord,how unhygienic is that?”,said one.
“Well,that’s India for you!”,replied the other lady.
Something snapped.I generally don’t react much,but the way in which she said it,half mocking,half derogatory,it did things to me.
“Just to let you know Ma’am,we do not go to your countries and use rolls of camera reel on how sad the state of affairs is on public spending.Nor do we say,”That’s the West for you” when another share market collapse takes place or some young boy goes straddling into a school and kills hundreds of innocent children.Have a nice stay and bye!”

Made me wonder about what ‘India’ represents to the world on the other side of the picket fence. After all that deep thinking, this is what I figured-

To many,like these ladies,India is the opposite of hygiene and a synonym to unhealthy street food.

To many, India is synonymous to a rich and aromatic blend of spices that tease the senses to explore beyond the realm of imagination.

To some, India is beautiful tanned women clad in yards of silk and dresses fashioned on mind-blowing color palettes and materials.

To some, India is hand-woven Kashmir rugs that can be bought at high-end retail stores for an arm and a leg.

To some, India is over-achieving children and their ever-worried parents crowding their neighborhood schools, Kumon centers and spelling bees.

To some, India is sandal incense sticks and small wooden elephants found at local markets.

To some,India is about the song and dance routine of Bollywood.

To many India is nothing but Taj Mahal.

To some, India is elderly couples walking the streets of their town in traditional Indian clothing throughout the year pushing strollers or holding the tiny fingers of their grandchildren.

To some, India is the population that stole their jobs, the country that lit the firecracker leading to the unpardonable ‘outsourcing’ explosion that chopped off their paychecks.

To some more, India remains a distant dot on their planet that has no relevance in their everyday lives.

To me, India is home. With its power outages, ever-increasing traffic, no-end-in-sight corruption and bureaucracy to its fabulous colorful billboards, sensational shopping alleys, mouth-watering food,even if it is made near an open drain!
If we don’t have a problem with our home,I do not see why others should!

Oh,there we go again!

courtesy Google images

I don’t understand all the ruckus caused by the newest leak from the stables of the Indian government.Did i hear an “Again?”.Huh,this time we can’t even blame Wikileaks!
In this case,it’s a letter from the Chief of Army Staff Gen.V.K.Singh to PM Manmohan Singh in which he
bluntly more or less,writes that the Indian Army is in such a pathetic state that if Papua New Guinea(no disrespect) attacks us today,we would probably,all of us, be taken prisoners of war.Well,he didn’t exactly say that,but when you say that 97percent of the ammunition is obsolete,it’s not hard to come to conclusions,is it?

So, my point is what’s all the fuss about?We didn’t need a leaked letter to say that the artillery is obsolete.Frankly, even a nitwit would know that.How, you might ask? I’ll tell you.We buy most of our artillery from two countries-Russia and Israel. I won’t go into the quality of stuff we recieve.Can’t be great you know,what with a MIG fighter crashing every second week and the General himself writing that the army has zero night fighting capability.For the record,the MIGs are from the land of Lenin and all the night vision guns are mostly sourced from the land of MOSSAD.
Thing is,why hasn’t India after 65 years of independence managed to produce heavy artillery on it’s own instead of buying from others? Oh,wait a second,don’t we have the DRDO? Don’t you know,it stands for Defence Research and Development Organisation!But i’ll be damned if i remember the last time they showed the world an example of their ‘research’.Let’s not even think about the ‘development’ part!All it does is manage the annual showcase tamasha we have every year on Raisina Hill,with a smiling President Patil wondering when the thing would end so that she can get back to the comforts of her palace!

However,one good thing that has come out of this episode,with evidence pointing to the fact that the General leaked the letter himself, is that we have shown the world we are the greatest in INTERNAL AMBUSH!
Yup,no one else stands a chance in this sector.For once,even Pakistan would happily agree!


In India,we try everything possible 2 stop a writer from coming to a literary meet because you see,he expressed some religious views in a book some 24 yrs ago…but mind you,WE aRe A DEMOCRACY!

We grant election tickets 2 candidates not on the basis of merit,but on the basis of if or nt they have a hereditary right 2 it..but then,we live in the land of karunanidhis,pawars,abdullahs & ofcourse gandhis!…but dn agn,WE aRe A DEMOCRACY!

We don’t grant asylum 2 a writer hounded out frm her country because she wrote against religious extremism..yet our beloved leaders don’t lose a chance to speak out against extremists..HELL WE ARE A DEMOCRACY!

We summon to court social networking sights for allowing individual freedom of speech,..&even a search engine because it leads us to sights which give more information on the very keywords we type in! did u forget,WE ARE A DEMOCRACY!

how are we any different from,say,a china???OH I FORGOT, WE R A DEMOCRACY,SILLY!